Fuck you
子皿 2020.10.13
还没读完，就已经觉得喘不过气了。有的人活着，他已经死了。死，不光是因为屎尿屁的事，平静的表象下是漩涡是深渊，是各种鸡毛蒜皮的小事的拉扯。Grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. 慢慢的觉得坚持不下去了，只想放开手，下坠。
昨晚看到本尼的一个演讲，很wordy, 很适合现在的我：
Learn to say “Fuck You” to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.
—Benedict Cumberbatch
如果站在远处看自己，我不知道现在是主动成长还是无奈妥协。不敢说不，也不敢说粗口。最近累到每晚低烧，还是在工作。不知道在轴什么。同事说听说又有个四十二岁的人过劳死了，怕是今年不是死在家里就是死在路上。真想消失一下子，或者像鸵鸟一样躲开这世界。Wake me up when December ends.
FX You! 自娱自乐，纯属虚构。
PS：听说昨晚在不远的高速上一个母亲和3个孩子车祸丧生，父亲和另一个孩子在另外一辆车上已经进了ICU。希望她们去了美丽新世界，希望他们可以重逢。
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